The Dolphin's Cry?

Hello loves!

I ADORED your responses to my music post. I was especially amused by the fact that THREE SEPARATE PEOPLE told me one of their iconic, most-fondly remembered songs is "The Dolphins Cry" by Live. I don't know what that says about the readership of this newsletter, but I love it.

The real highlights were the stories you sent along with the songs, "It makes me think of my sister...", "It was my 20-year high school reunion over the weekend and the song started playing...", "I had three ways to spend my time during my gap year: waitering for some cash, partying (spending the cash), lying hungover on my air mattress listening to borrowed Metallica CD's...", "My dad loved, and still loves, Chet Baker, and this song has so much softness and pain in it...", "I met my wife at a wedding and we immediately connected over this song... of course, when we got engaged, I made sure it was playing..." What an utter delight to share these musical memories with you - thank you for sending them in!

My absolute favourite was this gem from my friend Tabs:

Growing up in Hermanus and going to a majority Afrikaans government school there, rugby was obviously revered! Each year we would have an international (usually from the UK) rugby team visit on a rugby tour that they were doing around the country. When I was 16 we offered to host 2 rugby players in our house, which we had never done before, but obvs my sister and I were very excited about. Their names were Ian and Toby, and I was immediately in love with Ian. There was young, dumb, dorky me, having no idea how to flirt, no sex appeal, zero experience... falling head over heels with this hot rugby boy from Watford. He had a CD of the Fun Lovin' Criminals which he left with us and I must have listened to that album a thousand times. He also wore a fragrance called XS by Paco Rabanne, which still to this day gets my loins going.

I've created a playlist here of some of the tracks you sent me.

And here are three other things I've been thinking about recently.

1 - Better gift-giving

Hello, I know no-one wants to talk about Christmas shopping in November. But time's arrow marches ever forward, and if you celebrate, well... I'm afraid it's time to come up with a gifting strategy.

I've always aspired to be like my sister Kerry, one of those insufferable people with an entire gift cupboard who starts prepping thoughtful, handmade presents around January 5th—backup gifts, birthday gifts, “just in case” gifts. Meanwhile, I’m usually sprinting through the mall on December 24th, cursing myself. But not this year, friends! This year, we will be better!!

The most helpful video I've ever watched about gifting strategies is by Hannah Louise Poston (watch it here), and she really nails the basic mistake of gift giving: how we start off thinking about what the receiver is missing in their life. We ask, “What does this person want?” or “What can I give them that will make their life better?” — but let’s be honest, buying someone a present isn’t going to solve their problems. And if they wanted something that badly, they probably would’ve bought it for themselves.

We try to fill a hole in someone else's life with a gift, and that's just too high-stakes a task.

Instead, Poston suggests a much easier goal: just aim to give them some pleasure (bow-chikka-wow-wow). Instead of asking what they're missing, start with a much simpler question: what do they already use? Then, just buy them a more luxurious version of that. For example, if they’re a journaler, get them a fancy refillable pen or a lush Midori notebook. If they’re into tea, find a high-end loose-leaf blend.

You don’t need to overthink it — if you're stumped, start with the universal. Most people sleep, eat, wear socks. Seriously, socks are underrated. Last year, I had custom socks made for my bestie Lauren with her daughter pulling a silly face all over them, and it was a smash.

There's an unspoken universal rule that the more time you spend on a gift, the less money you have to spend on it, so do consider your making skills. Can you draw? How about ordering custom embroidered patches honouring your friends' special skills, like Scouts Badges for Adults. Can you bake? The date loaves my gran made me for Christmas every year growing up are still some of my most precious memories. Can you make cocktails? How about gifting home-infused spirits? Can you fix bicycles? Will you please come over and tell me how the heck to stop my bloody mudguard from rattling?

If all else fails: curate an experience. Something like a movie night-in-a-basket is cute, affordable, and easy to throw together, or have fun putting together a kit-in-a-tin. One of the best gifts I ever received was a piece of A4 paper from an ex-girlfriend when I was staying in New York. On it, she'd written down an itinerary for a "Perfect Day", directing me to some of her favourite places in the city, telling me exactly what snack to get from what foodtruck, with the timings worked out perfectly for me to catch the sunset over the Hudson. Or, you know, just book two tickets to an event they'll like.

But really, I believe we're far more nervous about giving a "generic"-feeling gift than we need to be. Almost everyone will appreciate Lush perfumes (they're unisex), fancy bed linen, or elegant cookware (like olive-wood boards: they work as chopping boards and serving platters). Remember, the goal isn't to fix a problem for them, it's just to give them pleasure. Don't overthink it!

2 - The Outlaws Scarlett and Browne

Looking for a rollicking YA adventure? I recently adored Jonathan Stroud's audacious The Outlaws Scarlett and Browne. It's a Western set in a dystopian future England, with monsters and gunfights and bank robberies and a Stranger Things-esque telepathic kid. That sounds like a mishmash of a lot of different things, and it is, but it works.

I adored it from the brilliant first page - a masterclass in writing an arresting opening!

3 - Poem-hunt!

Reader hivemind, please help! I'm searching for a Breyton Breytenbach poem I can't find.

A long time ago, I took a poetry class with Sarah Johnson who gave us the fun challenge to "translate" a piece of poetry from a language we don't speak. We weren't allowed to look up the real meanings of any words; we had to just interpret them based on how they sounded, to come up with a poem inspired by the original but possibly with a completely different meaning. I recently came across a fragment of one of my "translations", which is based on an Afrikaans Breyten Breytenbach poem.

This was my translation:

Footnote

After yesterday’s rain the world
Is still freshly damp, two snails
Move from staring to pairing,
Smear each other with a little slime
On the vaginal shell opening
In a long lipped, naked
Sigh

Does anyone have any clue what the original poem is? I think it was published in Voetskrif (published in 1976) if anyone happens to have that collection lying around. My beloved British Library has failed me.

A sweet tangent: Ursula le Guin once wrote a translation of the Tao Te Ching despite not knowing any Chinese. She called it a "rendition, not a translation". It's probably not very accurate, but it is lovely.

Try this yourself: find a poem in a language you don't speak, and write your own version of it. Don't worry about accuracy; just go on vibes.

Wishing you bad poetry translations, better gifts, and the scents that remind you of your teenage crushes,

Sam